The Load We Carry: Why Connection Matters More Than Strategy

Recently, Alan Wildes and I had the privilege of spending time with my friend Carey Nieuwhof at The Art of Leadership Live. Carey and I have walked together as friends and leaders for years, and I always find myself learning something fresh from him—not just because of his insights, but because of his example.

Carey opened the event with a simple but piercing reminder:

“Strategy is useless if the leader isn’t okay.”

Those words resonated deeply with me. Leaders often pride themselves on carrying weight for their organizations, their teams, and their families. But beneath the polished strategies and polished sermons, the truth is this: leadership is heavy.

When the Executive Director or Head of School Leaves The Hidden Load Leaders Carry

Carey named what many of us hesitate to say out loud: leaders shoulder both internal stressors (anxiety, burnout, ungrieved losses) and external stressors (family struggles, financial surprises, health crises).

We don’t just plan strategy—we carry weight. And when that weight goes unacknowledged, it shows up in our teams, our culture, and our families.

Healthy leaders build healthy churches and organizations. Unhealthy leaders, no matter how well-intentioned, can unintentionally pass along stress, disconnection, and even burnout to the people they serve.

Connection Over Isolation

Here’s what stood out most to me—not just as a Generis consultant, but as a friend: no one makes it alone.

Leadership is not a solo endurance test. It’s a shared journey. As I’ve seen in my own leadership, the real breakthrough comes not just in learning principles, but in connecting with other leaders who remind us that we’re not alone. Sometimes the most spiritual and strategic thing you can do is to share your story over coffee, admit what feels heavy, and allow someone else to help carry it.

Why This Matters for Generis Leaders

At Generis, we often serve leaders who are carrying immense loads—vision for their ministry, financial pressures, the weight of caring for their people. Strategy is part of our work, yes, but strategy without health is like building a house on sand.

Our calling isn’t just to deliver frameworks; it’s to come alongside leaders in friendship, support, and practical encouragement. The real fruit isn’t just when a generosity initiative succeeds—it’s when the leaders are thriving, not just surviving.

My Encouragement to You

If you’re leading right now, ask yourself:

• What am I carrying that I’ve never said out loud?
• Who are the people I can trust to help me carry it?

And then take one step: pick up the phone, send a text, schedule that meeting. Don’t wait until the breaking point to reach for connection.

Because in the end, leadership isn’t just about what we do—it’s about who we become. And none of us were meant to become the leaders God has called us to be in isolation.

Closing Thought:
Carey’s words echo in my heart: “Live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.” The best way to do that is not only by learning new strategies, but by staying connected with the leaders who will walk the road with you.

Frank