Generis Blog

You Are Hard To Coach. A Generosity Blog By Generosity Coach Alan Wildes

Written by Ryan | May 18, 2018 12:00:00 AM

I will never forget the moment when I was 28 and my dad told me “I’ve been coaching high school sports for over 25 years and you were one of the hardest players to coach that I ever had.” That stung; really badly.

I had always wondered why during basketball practice my dad would freely offer up coaching to the other players but rarely offered anything to me.  I asked him about that during our conversation and he said that I would not receive his coaching.  I always knew more than he did and would basically blow him off.  So he chose to quit offering coaching to me and only give me advice when I asked for it; which was rare.

I could go much deeper into the psychological effect this conversation had on me but I will spare you. I bring this watershed moment in my life to your attention to say that we all need coaches but we have to want to be coached.

I didn’t want to be coached as a 16 year old and I still don’t really want to be coached as a 49 year old.  Why?

    • Coaches point out things about us that are not functioning on all cylinders
    • Coaches challenge us to get out of our comfort zones
    • Coaches push us beyond where we comfortably want to go on our own


If we are willing to admit it, we are all narcissistic in nature.  We have a very high opinion of ourselves.  No one “enjoys” having their weaknesses pointed out to them.  No one “enjoys” changing the way they do things; especially if they have been somewhat successful in the past.

However, we all need to be coached.  We can all be better with relationships, techniques, leading, praying and other areas in our lives. 

At Generis, we think every church should have a Generosity Coach. We would love to schedule a free meeting to better understand the generosity challenges and opportunities your church is facing and help you create a strategy to engage your givers and ultimately, fund your vision.